The Case of the “Defective” Tile
Hear this story read aloud.
A Call About a “Defective” Tile
It was a gray Tuesday morning when the call came in. A frantic client swore up and down that the tile in their brand-new kitchen was defective. “The finish is gone, it looks dull, and I want the manufacturer to pay for it,” they said. I grabbed my testing kit, jumped in the Woody, and headed over.
First Impressions and Tests
When I got there, the scene was exactly what I expected: a nice porcelain floor, lightly soiled but not falling apart the way they described. I ran my usual battery of tests: slip resistance, absorption, a good visual under the loupe. The tile passed everything. No manufacturing defect.
The Real Question (That No One Likes)
That is when I asked the question no one likes to answer: “How are you cleaning this floor?” The client hesitated, then admitted they use whatever is under the sink—sometimes dish soap, sometimes a splash of Pine-something, and sometimes nothing at all but water.
Bingo.
The Real Culprit: Improper Maintenance
Improper maintenance will ruin the look of a tile faster than any defect will.
- Soap residue leaves a film that grabs dirt.
- Skipping regular cleaning lets grime settle into the texture.
The client did not want to hear it, but once I cleaned a small section with the right neutral pH cleaner, they could see the difference.
The Report and the Truth
I wrote up my report plainly and directly: tile not defective, failure caused by improper maintenance. Case closed.
A Slice of Pie and Some Perspective
But this one stuck in my head, so I drove over to Flo’s Diner for a late lunch. Flo was behind the counter polishing coffee cups when I told her the story. “So basically you got called out to tell someone to mop their floor?” she said with a laugh.
“Pretty much,” I said. “Sometimes my job is part detective, part cleaning instructor.”
She poured me a cup of coffee and slid me a slice of pie on the house. “Well, at least you solved another case, Sherlock. And now that poor tile will finally get the cleaning it deserves.”
I raised my coffee cup in a toast. “To clean floors and happy clients.”
Another Case Solved
Another case closed in the life of the busy Stone Detective.
